Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The Hardest Part of Losing Weight is Losing Weight

I’ve kind of been off the grid so I don’t know if I’ve shared this with you or not,  but I went to my doctor back in November and then again in December when all my depression stuff went out of whack, remember?  Well it was during that time that I found out how out of shape I was and how it impacted my health.  I’m overweight, cholesterol is too high, and I’m borderline diabetic. I basically got the talk you don’t want to get when you go to the doctor.

So it all summed up to me having to make major lifestyle changes. This is again, nothing you ever want to hear. So I did as instructed and I cut the daily chocolate and sweets. I still wasn’t eating great but it was at least better than what it was. I think in the first couple of weeks I dropped 5 pounds. I was excited but you know the feeling you get when one hair is out of place on your head and you see it but no one else does? I felt like that because I felt such a great accomplishment but no one else saw those five pounds fling off my body. Nope, just me. Then a month later, I got to 10 pounds. Halleluiah…I was doing so great and again, no one noticed. Just me, which I find hard to believe that If I hold a ten pound bowling ball in my hand, you’re gonna sit there and tell me you don’t see that this huge thing, has fallen off of my body. But yet, no one saw it.

A few weeks later, I had to go to back to the doctor for a checkup and she said I was doing great and get this, “no longer obese but now just overweight”. Are you kidding me?? I’m not obese anymore, when was I ever? I didn’t even know that was a factor.   Regardless of the ten pounds I dropped, I was still borderline diabetic and cholesterol was still too high. Even after ALL of the changes I had made. Not gonna lie, it really sucked to hear that.

Last month I managed to get to 15 pounds and again, no one noticed, except Sammy, Brianna, Ashley and the scale in my restroom. I got over the fact that no one would notice that I looked smaller nor the obvious fact that, hello, the big boobs that usually greeted you when you met me were no longer in your face. Sorry but that is really how I felt. 

At this point, I hadn’t exercised once!! I only learned to get by on “no sugar added” alternatives and no chocolate intake which was and has always been my weakness.  Insert side story here: When I was little and had to have an allergy test where they basically shoot you with a hundred needles testing to see what you are allergic to, my mom can attest that my only concern was that I wouldn’t be allergic to chocolate. I couldn’t deal without it even at that age.

Now, here we are, 3-4 months later and I’m 20 pounds lighter and guess what, FINALLY someone noticed. That, I have to say, was a great feeling. But I’m so not out of the water yet. I still have to get my cholesterol in check and the whole diabetes borderline thing is something I still struggle with. I ‘reward’ myself from time to time with a cup of chocolate ice cream or cookies because, hello, I deserve it right?! But do I really? I just received a picture of me with an old high school friend and now daytime TV anchor but standing next to her, sheesh, I  seriously wish I would have reconsidered the “chocolate rewards” and not to mention get my butt to exercising already!!

IMG_2290-001    IMG_2291 (1)-001

I’m not gonna say I’m not proud of myself, because I really am and the past few months have been hard enough with temptation all around me. But I do see the changes that still need to take place and a lifestyle that needs some serious reevaluating, but I’m getting there.

Anyway, I’ll check back in on this subject and let you know what’s changed and maybe you can help me to be a little more accountable for getting on the ball. Thanks for listening to this “I hate my weight” rant and let me just say that Cynthia is wearing heels and I’m in flats, okay!

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